


The Perfect Day

by jaeger_soul



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Death, Feels, Heartbreak, M/M, Pain, Smut, Suicide, ereri, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 12:24:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2109828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeger_soul/pseuds/jaeger_soul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Rivaille have been in love forever. With the war over and every Titan and Shifter ordered dead, the world is finally at peace and the two star crossed lovers can finally be together forever. Or is it merely wishful thinking?<br/>When the Military Police deliver the news to the boy that he has one day left to live, Eren decides to make it the best last day ever.</p>
<p>Slight note here: I used Levi's French romanticism version of his name: Rivaille. It's what I prefer so, yeah. There's that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perfect Day

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired after one too many times thinking about Eren and Rivaille dying together. Ugghh, my brain!

The warm water trickled down his arms as the boy gently ran the cloth down his skin, stopping to scrub away a spot of dirt near his elbow.  
Eren Jaeger had turned 16 last week, just after the war on Titans was pronounced over. Every last one of those evil creatures lie dead.. save for the one currently scrubbing himself down.

With a sigh, Eren let the cloth drop back into the water and brought his hands up to his head. Even if the King hadn’t ordered the death of all Titans, the teen would have taken himself out after the war ended anyway. For the world to truly be at peace, Eren had to die too.

At least the Military Police officers who delivered the message were kind. They offered him a final day to do whatever he pleased before they would come to collect him. Eren accepted their offer and spent the next few hours wondering how he was to tell Rivaille.

It wasn’t a secret anymore that the two were in love. They’d spoke many times of escaping the Corps when the war was over. They’d talked of settling down in a small town, in a house that was tucked away from civilization. They’d adopt a dog like the stray Rivaille had bonded with when he was young. They’d have a garden in the back that Eren could tend to and flower boxes on the windowsills like his mother had. They’d go to the tea shop in Sina that Rivaille told him about many times before.

Tears stung at Eren’s eyes as it all came rushing back to him. Rivaille would be alone. The Military Police officers would come for him tomorrow morning and Rivaille would be alone again. He didn’t want to leave the man alone but he knew in his gut he had no choice. His stomach was in knots at the mere thought of telling his lover what had already been decided. How was he to tell Rivaille that soon he would be no more?

Eren rested his head against his knees, taking even breaths to try and stave off the tears. If this was to be their last time together he would make sure it was the most special love he could give Rivaille.

A knock sounded, startling the boy. He jerked his head up and shrank further down in the tub, nose hovering above the soapy water.

“Eren?” his lover’s voice floated through the door and the boy smiled beneath the water, feeling the soap bubble up against his lips. Only Rivaille could do this to him. He rose his head over the water and called back.

“Yes, Rivaille?” he asked, grin still clear on his face. He heard the man let out a quiet laugh, making his grin widen.

“How’d you know it was me, brat?” Rivaille asked, then added. “You know what? I don’t want to know. Think you could hurry up in there? You’re going to come out all wrinkled up like a prune.”

Eren laughed in spite of himself, enjoying the amusement in his lover’s voice. “I’ll be right out,” he responded, running the cloth across his chest again. He leaned back in the tub, resting his neck on the edge. With an exhale, he sank beneath the water, letting it cover his face. When he re-emerged, he shook the water off his skin and stepped out of the tub, grabbing the towel he’d laid on the back of the toilet. He wrapped it around his chest and ran a hand through his hair, feeling the water drip off and down his back.

He looked at the sink and the toilet standing beside each other. Eren couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a nice bath like this. The Military Police were treating him right on his last day alive.

Knowing Rivaille was waiting for him outside, he pulled on his boxers and jeans and threw his shirt over his arm, still towel-drying his hair. He opened the door, glancing down the hallway for him before calling his name. “Rivaille?”

“I’m in the bedroom,” the captain called back and Eren grinned, picking up speed as he walked, eager to see him. He pushed the door further open, seeing the man look up at him from where he sat on the edge of the bed. A small smile pulled at one corner of Rivaille’s mouth.

“Hey,” he called and the boy grinned. “How was your bath? Seemed like you took forever in there. Enjoying the running water are you?”  
Eren laughed, continuing to towel his hair. “Actually, yeah I am. It’s nice to have a warm bath. You should try it sometime.”

“Pass,” Rivaille responded. “No use getting used to something when it’s not going to be there the next time I want it. I guarantee you, MP is going to have us kicked out of here by the end of the week, you wait and see.”

The two of them had been put up in a nice guest house in the inner city after the war ended - much like the rest of the Survey Corps had been. Eren had been offered to stay in the palace for a little while because of his direct use in ending the war but he’d politely declined. He guessed Rivaille wouldn’t be able to stay with him in the palace and that wasn’t something he wanted. He’d opted to stay in the city with the rest of the Survey Corps members.

“Oi, what are you thinking about, brat?” the man’s voice interrupted his thoughts. Rivaille stared up at him, brows creased in concern. “You’re not sick are you?”

The teen gave him a quick smile, dropping the towel on the floor. “No, I’m not sick. Sorry, guess I was just lost in thought,” he pulled his shirt over his head, stepping closer to his lover. He placed a hand on his cheek, feeling the smooth skin beneath his fingertips. He wanted to memorize every inch of this man, remember him forever. He wanted to make their last time together every bit as special as it was the first time.

Rivaille smirked, pulling the boy down on top of him. “You want to do more than just look?” he teased, running his hands up the back of the boy’s shirt.

Eren let out a startled gasp, looking down at the man lying flat on the mattress. This wasn’t right. Their last time wouldn’t be random. He was going to do their last time right, slow… like it had been the first time. Rivaille kissed him and he pulled away with a shake of his head. “No… Rivaille, not yet,” he whispered.

His lover frowned, looking up to him. “Not yet…?” Rivaille questioned before exhaling. “Eren. What is it? You’ve been acting weird since this morning. Tell me what’s going on.”

Eren cringed, wondering how to explain that tonight would be their last time together. That he wanted to take it slow, cherish it. As his lover sat up on the bed, Eren took to standing again, placing a hand on either side of his face. Rivaille’s hands captured his wrists immediately, still holding the boy’s gaze with his piercing eyes. “Nothing’s going on. I just.. ah, I…” he looked away for a moment, wondering how to phrase it. No words came to him so he turned back to his lover and kissed him, tracing his lips with the tip of his tongue. It was Rivaille who pulled away this time, continuing to frown up at the boy.

Eren forced a smile. “You want to get dinner? We’ll go out, spend some time together then return here and pick up where we’re leaving off?” he suggested despite the scowl on his lover’s face.

“Why? It’s not like we can’t find something to eat in this big ass house. Why not just stay in?” the captain questioned, tilting his head to one side, as if trying to see through the boy’s lies.

Eren shook his head, averting his gaze. This he could answer truthfully. “Rivaille… for so many months, we had to hide. Pretend that we were only captain and soldier. We had to hide our true feelings and you had to pretend you were okay with the extensive testing done on me,” at those words, he felt his lover’s hands tighten around his wrists. He exhaled, looking back at Rivaille. “We’re finally free to be who we are with each other. I want to go out and be around people and have them know that we belong to each other.”

Rivaille blinked, looking like he was torn between believing the boy and calling bullshit. Finally he exhaled and gave a shrug. “Fine. We can go out if you want but I don’t need anyone knowing you’re mine. I’m the only one who’s ever made you forget everything but my name as you screamed those two syllables over and over again,” he smirked and Eren blushed, pulling away from him.

“Whatever,” the boy mumbled, scratching the back of his head. “I have a place in mind,” he nudged his lover’s knee with his own as he passed by him to put his shoes on. He plopped down on the floor, dragging his shoes across the floor closer to him.

“It’s not somewhere we’ll have to kiss ass is it? I don’t want to be around any bureaucrats tonight, Eren.”

Eren. God he was going to miss hearing his lover say his name. The boy paused, foot halfway in shoe and turned his head to the side. “Say that again.”

“What?” Even without seeing his face, Eren knew the man was frowning. He sighed, pulling his shoe all the way on.

“My name,” he spoke, twisting around to look at Rivaille leaning back on his elbows. “Say it again.”

A frown creased his eyebrows but he spoke. “Eren,” his frown deepened. “Seriously, brat. What’s up?”

Eren tugged his other shoe on, and knelt in front of the bed. “The sky, birds… maybe a rogue Titan,” he grinned as his lover rolled his eyes.

“You little shit,” Rivaille shook his head, reaching out and grabbing the boy by the collar. He pulled him closer and closed the distance between their lips. Eren let his eyes close, threading his fingers through his lover’s hair. He kissed Rivaille back, feeling his resolve weaken. They could always… go ahead now. It’s not like they’d miss much by going out for dinner… maybe he should stay in, keep his lover all to himself.

With a groan, he pulled away from the kiss. “Trying to get me to change my mind?” he laughed. “Good luck, captain,” he smiled and stood, tugging on his lover’s hand. “Come on, I want to have dinner with you.”

Rivaille sighed and shook his head. “I think who’s trying here is you. And you’re trying to kill me. Brat, I just want to stay in with you. Is that too much to ask for?”

The teenager laughed, pulling his boyfriend along behind him as he opened the door and led them out into the hall. “It’s just dinner and we can return here after. Come on, we’ve barely been out all week.”

“There’s a good reason for that, Eren. You haven’t been able to stop riding me for even a second,” Rivaille’s voice had a clear smirk in it and his lover turned around with a glare.

“Shut up. I distinctly remember you screaming nothing except my name two nights ago. Thank god the claw marks on my back didn’t last." Rivaille continued to smirk, not even trying to deny the truth. Eren rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever, let’s just go.”

The boy changed his mind and let his lover decide on the restaurant; like he’d suspected, Rivaille picked a small hole-in-the-wall type of place. Something that was tucked out of the way and low-key. He’d chosen a booth in the back of the restaurant, choosing to weave his fingers between his lover’s hand and stare into his eyes rather than look at the menu in front of him.

Eren’s cheeks flushed as he tore his gaze away from Rivaille’s. “Are you really going to stare at me through our date? Are you going to order anything to eat at all?”

His lover sighed, using his other hand to reach out and trace the boy’s lips. “Fine. I’ll order something,” he smirked. “But you’re dessert,” he retracted his hands from Eren as a waitress came up to take their order.

She was brown haired, fairly pretty and very bubbly. Eren thought she could have passed for Sasha’s cousin.

“Black tea,” the captain ordered, turning his gaze back to his lover’s as the boy tried to stammer out his order. It was hard to think with his boyfriend’s lips mere inches from him.

“I”ll have some apple cider, please,” he gave a smile and waited till she’d disappeared before turning to look at his captain.

“Could you not distract me while I’m trying to order?” he asked, the smile tugging at his mouth giving him away. He loved that Rivaille couldn’t keep his eyes or hands off him. He’d wondered when they would get days like this. He always dreamt of it, never believed it could ever happen in this life. Rivaille smiled, one hand against his cheek, propping himself up; the other reaching across the table toward Eren’s.

The two tangled their fingers together again, staring into each other’s eyes. Eren smiled, realizing for once the truth of the phrase ‘star crossed lovers’. They’d been kept apart for months due to scheduling and missions and Titans and Military Police and ‘pressing matters’... now was the time for them to spend together. Eren squeezed Rivaille’s hand, smiling across the table at him.

“I can’t tell you how glad I am the war’s over, brat. It’s about time I got you all to myself,” he smiled. “We’ll go look for that house with a garden soon. I’ll find something to do in the inner city - some sort of employment. You’ll stay at home most of the time, where I can come see you whenever I want.”

Eren knew that wouldn’t happen. He forced a smile as he didn’t want to ruin his lover’s fantasy. “Yeah. I’ll stay at home, wait for you to return to me so I can make you scream my name again.”

Someone cleared their throat and the teen glanced up, realizing that the waitress was back with their drinks. She set the cups down on the table and glanced between the two of them. “You ready to order or do you need a few minutes?”

“I know what I want,” Rivaille said, smirking across the table as he mouthed the word ‘you’. He looked to the waitress, fixing her with a stare. “Steamed rice and vegetable stir and a side of collard greens.”

She jotted it down on the pad of paper in her hands and looked at Eren. “And for you?”

“Um, sweet and sour chicken and a side of white rice please,” he folded his menu on top of Rivaille’s and she picked them up from the table.

“Coming right up,” she said with a smile, turning on heel and walking away from them. Eren turned back to his lover who was staring after the waitress.

“Tch,” Rivaille shook his head, glancing back to the boy. “Good thing she overheard what you said about screwing me.”

Eren frowned, tilting his head to one side. “What do you mean?”

Rivaille rolled his eyes and flicked him on the arm. “She thinks you’re cute, dumbass.”

The boy let out a laugh, shaking his head. “No, she doesn’t. You’re just being paranoid.”

Rivaille flicked him again. “Observant not paranoid, brat,” he reached out and took his lover’s hand. “What do I have to be paranoid of? Not like you’re ever going to leave me.”

“Okay fine, observant,” the teen responded and squeezed Rivaille’s hand. Eren leaned back against the booth, running his thumb in a circular motion on the back of the captain’s hand. He’d miss this. Holding each other, kissing, quiet stolen moments like this. Tomorrow, they would be no more.

Instinctively Eren’s fingers tightened around his lover’s hand - squeezing far harder than he meant to. In an instant, Rivaille’s hand was on his cheek. “What is it? What’s wrong?” his lover’s fingertips felt so soft against his skin. The teen leaned into his hand, not wanting to move from this position. He exhaled, hand shaking still clutched around his lover’s. His heart beat faster in his chest as he thought of all the things they would miss out on. Birthdays, anniversaries, dates “just because”...  
Eren let out a small whine and released Rivaille’s hand, leaning back against the booth with an exhale. He raised his eyes to the captain’s, who’s stare was a mixture of

concern and irritation.  
“Look, if something’s up, tell me. No use trying to hide it, I’ll find out about it eventually,” his stare was piercing but Eren merely shook his head, turning away from him.  
When he tried to speak, the words stuck in his throat. It was hard just to breathe when he thought about having to tell Rivaille at the end of the night that he’d be dying in the morning. Eren let his lover take his hand once more, his other hand curling around locks of his own hair. He focused on slowing his breathing, aware of Rivaille’s scrutiny.

“I’m fine. Just a little… breathless,” he decided, nodding his head like he was agreeing to his choice of ailment. “Yeah, you know me. Always kinda had trouble catching my breath.”

Rivaille stared at him, eyes squinted like he was attempting to see through the boy’s lies. “Brat. You’d better tell me here and now what’s really going on or so help me I’ll be forced to-”

“Hey! Food’s here!” Eren cut him off mid-sentence, turning a smile on the waitress, grateful for her timing. He felt Rivaille’s gaze on him and he tried not to look at the captain - knowing all too well the power of his sultry stare. “Thank you,” he told the waitress as she set the plates on the table.

The waitress gave them both a smile and glanced between them. “Is there anything else I can get you two?”

Rivaille shook his head before Eren could speak. “No, we’re good. Thanks anyway,” he watched the waitress walk away before turning back to the boy. “Do I need to finish my thought?”

Eren shook his head, knowing full well what would be in store for him if he didn’t come up with a suitable lie. “Okay, I’ll tell you. Just…” he glanced around, looking at all of the other patrons in the restaurant. He couldn’t bring himself to deliver this news in front of a bunch of strangers. “Not here, okay?” he looked back to his lover, once again memorizing every detail about him that he could. When they returned to their guest house, he would tell the captain. Maybe not right away though… he still wanted to give him the best night they could have together.

Eren shook his head as the man continued to stare at him. “Look, not here. I won’t tell you if you don’t drop it here,” he dropped his gaze to his food, not even remotely hungry anymore. He heard Rivaille sigh and his lover’s hand was on top of his. He looked up into those kind guarded eyes that he knew he could blow wide with a few touches.

“Fine. You don’t have to tell me even though you know that not knowing is only going to piss me off,” he shrugged. “You don’t have to tell me anything, brat,” he squeezed his hand. “You’re acting really strange.”

Eren gave a small laugh, relieved the conversation could wait. “Ah, I’m sorry. I’m just.. so unused to being able to relax,” he glanced down at their intertwined fingers, rubbing his thumb across the back of Rivaille’s hand. “Being here with you, in public, among other couples…” he looked up, smiling. “It’s a great feeling.”

Rivaille rolled his eyes and withdrew his hand. “I told you months ago that we could go out in public together. It’s not like anyone was going to stop us. And if they had tried, you and I have more skill than the rest of the Survey Corps members combined.”

The boy laughed quietly with a shake of his head. “That’s not true but whatever… let’s just eat and go home.”

“You’re still dessert, brat,” Rivaille smirked as he ate a forkful of collard greens. Eren smiled as he swirled his fork in his rice.

This happened every time. Rivaille would do or say something to make the boy grin and it usually didn’t leave him all day. Today was a bit different. The smile was there as usual but after a moment or two, he had to force it. The pair ate their food in silence and when the waitress came asking about dessert, they declined.  
Rivaille paid for the meals and exited the restaurant, taking hold of the boy’s hand as they walked down the sparsely populated street. Eren turned his head this way and that, watching the buildings and shops pass them by as they walked on toward the inner city.

“What are you doing?” Rivaille questioned, stopping in the street and pulling his attention back to him. “You seem so lost in your own little world today. What’s crowding up your head space, brat?”

Eren gave him a smile and shook his head, pulling him into a kiss. Their tongues mingled together and the boy gave a moan, leaning his head to the side to give his lover more access. Rivaille pulled away from his mouth and moved to his neck, licking and sucking as he kissed his way down to the teen’s collarbone. Eren whined, pulling away. “N-No.. we can’t do that in the middle of the street,” he glanced around, making sure no one could see them.

“Oi, who do you think is going to try to stop us? Like I said back there, we have more skill together than the rest of the Survery Corps members combined. Who in their right mind would ever try to pull us apart?” Rivaille questioned, gently turning his head back toward him.

The Military Police, Eren thought, closing his eyes with a sigh. “No one,” he whispered. “Guess you’d tear them apart if they tried to.”

“Damn right I would,” Rivaille titled his head to one side and ran his fingers through the boy’s hair. “Eren…”

Eren wrapped his arms around the man’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. “Let’s stop talking,” he said, breaking apart for air. He waited till the man nodded before he kissed him again.

They were barely two feet into their house when Rivaille grabbed him by the waist and pressed him up against a wall, hands searching for the clasps on his clothes, mouth kissing every inch he could reach.

Eren gave a squeak, body reacting to the pleasure Rivaille was delivering. The captain’s tongue against his skin felt amazing. It elicited a response in him and he whined, bucking his hips away from the wall and toward his lover.

“R-Rivaille,” he panted out, his fingers tangling in the man’s hair. “I thought… we need to…” he panted, mind trying to hold on to any coherent thought. “We need to s-slow down,” he panted out. “I can’t go this fast…” not for my last time.

Rivaille caressed the boy’s thigh and lifted it upward as he ground his hips against Eren’s. “What’s the matter, love? Too fast for you?” he squeezed the boy’s thigh as he lifted him up higher.  
Eren whined, pushing against him gently. “C-Come on,” he whispered, torn between wanting to give in or do it his way like he’d planned. “Let me take control, Rivaille.”

Rivaille slowly pulled away, frowning. “You want to top?”

The teen shrugged, catching his breath. “Not exactly,” he wiped away a line of drool from the side of his mouth. “I just want to… let me get us there, okay?”

The captain frowned, looking utterly confused. “All right, brat. You’re in control for now then.”

Eren pushed away from the wall, slowly lowering his feet back to the ground. He took his lover’s hand looking into his eyes. He brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes and leaned in to kiss him. Slowly, he moved his tongue inside the man’s mouth, tasting him with every movement. After a moment, he pulled away, giving him a smile. “Come on,” he whispered, tugging him toward the stairs.

Rivaille followed after him, looking more confused the longer it went on. Eren stopped on the fourth stair up and leaned down, kissing his lover again. This one was softer, sweeter. He wrapped his arms around Rivaille’s waist and hoisted him up a stair. “I love you,” he whispered, pulling away and resting his forehead against the man’s.

“Eren you’re worrying me,” Rivaille responded. “What’s-”

“Stop asking me,” the teen whispered, turning around and leading him up the stairs again. “Just come upstairs with me,” he didn’t look back as he pulled his lover behind him all the way up the stairs.

He pulled Rivaille into the room and closed the door shut behind them. “Slowly,” he whispered to himself, pushing the man down onto the bed. He would take this slow. Second by second. Cherish every moment. Remember every detail between the sheets. Eren kicked his shoes off and gently took Rivaille’s chin in his hand, pulling him in for another kiss. Rivaille seemed unsure of what to do so the teen grabbed his hand and put it on his lower back.

Rivaille took the lead and moved his hands up the boy’s back, slowly caressing and running his hands over every inch of his skin. Eren shivered and moaned against the movement, fingers tangling in his lover’s hair. He pushed against Rivaille until he scooted back on the bed, allowing Eren the opportunity to crawl on top of him.

“I love you,” Eren whispered again, feeling tears prick the corners of his eyes. This was how he wanted it. Slow and sweet like he’d imagined since he’d been told he had one day left. He unbuttoned Rivaille’s shirt, kissing down his chest as he did.

When he reached the man’s navel, he tugged the shirt out of his pants and looked up to him. Rivaille took hold of his chin and brought him back up to his face, kissing his lips and face and neck, drawing him back into the moment. “We don’t have to go that fast, brat,” he whispered. “I know you want to take it slow. I can tell by the care you’re taking in every movement.”

Eren whined and kissed his lover’s cheek, nodding to his words. “I know,I just… I want you,” he mumbled, pushing Rivaille’s shirt out of the way to kiss his chest more.

“You have me forever, Eren,” Rivaille’s own hands were tugging at his lover’s shirt. “This needs to come off.”

The teen smiled, arching his back and letting Rivaille’s fingers move further up his skin. “You take it off,” he whispered, pecking kisses to his neck. He stretched his arms out past Rivaille’s head.

The captain tugged at the material, slipping it halfway up his back before stopping. “Sit up then, brat.”  
Eren whined, moving away from his lover’s face and raising his arms over his own head. Rivaille pulled the shirt up in front, leaning forward to kiss his chest, tongue running over his nipples. The teen gasped, leaning his head back as he gave into the pleasure. “Ahh!” he dropped his hands to his Rivaille’s head, curling his fingers around his hair.

The man pulled back with a shake of his head. “How am I supposed to get your shirt off if you don’t have your arms up?” he questioned, tilting his head to one side, completely determined to stay put until Eren moved his hands.

The boy whined, knowing he’d given the control over to Rivaille. He slowly raised his arms up over his head as his lover leaned forward again, gently taking one of his nipples in between his teeth. He ran his tongue over and over him, making Eren squeak and squirm about on his lap.  
“Ahh, R-Rivaille!” he cried out, dropping his hands again, curling them around the sheet this time. Like the first time, Rivaille pulled back.

“Hands up, Eren,” he whispered, a smirk on his face. “You like this, don’t you?” he asked, nuzzling his nose against the boy’s perked nipple. Eren could only nod, mind too lost in the feeling of his lover’s mouth on him. “If you want more, put your arms up,” the captain instructed, pushing against the boy’s upper arms. “Go on, put them up,” he moved his mouth to the other nipple as Eren raised his arms over his head. “Unless you want me to bring out my crop instead.”

The teen whined, curling his hands into fists. Rivaille licked the other nipple, swirling his tongue around in a circle. “You like this, Eren?” he questioned, biting down gently. “You like it when I make you into a panting writhing mess?”

He leaned back, pulling Eren’s shirt over his head. Rivaille laid back on the bed with a smirk. “You’re in charge, remember?”

Eren whimpered as he leaned forward to kiss his lover, the tingling in his nipples far from gone. “I wanted to take this slow…”

“But now you’re turned on?” Rivaille guessed, leaning up to kiss his neck. “Let me take care of that, Jaeger,” his hands moved down to the teen’s waistband, tugging his jeans downward. Eren placed his hand over top his lover’s.

Eren moaned, arching his back as he let his lover unbutton his jeans and tug them down. Rivaille palmed him through his boxers, kissing his bare shoulder and neck as the teen moaned and twisted about.

Within a few minutes, Eren was panting again, barely able to hold on to conscious thought. “Ahh! R-Rivaille,” he moaned, digging his fingernails into his lover’s shoulders.  
Their shirts and Eren’s jeans lay on a pile in the floor and soon the boy’s boxers would be joining them.

“You topping or am I?” his lover whispered, slipping his hand beneath his boxers and touching his erection. Eren gasped and threw his head back, sputtering out the few profanities his mind could think of. “Tch, such a dirty mouth, brat,” Rivaille smirked, moving his other hand down the back of the boy’s boxers. “You didn’t answer my question…” his index finger circled the teenager’s entrance. “Am I topping or are you?”

Eren gasped at the touches, trying to catch his breath enough to respond. “Ahh! Y-you are,” he stammered out, already wanting to feel his lover inside him. “P-Please, Rivaille, ahh!”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to take this slow,” Rivaille whispered, moving his hand around the teen’s dick. “You wanted it to be slow, remember?”

“N-No,” Eren groaned, moving his hands to the waist band of his boxers. “No, I don’t,” he tugged them down and gasped when his erection bounced out, no longer restricted between his boxers and Rivaille’s hand.

His lover smirked and leaned down, headed to take the penis in his mouth. Eren shook his head, placing a hand under Rivaille’s chin. “N-No… I-I want you,” he whispered, leaning down to place a panting, wet kiss on his mouth.  
Rivaille moved his finger in a circle around Eren’s entrance again, making him buck and shiver. “Ahh!”

“You want me? Inside you, brat?” he questioned, pressing his finger inside. “I don’t know if I can find the lotion.. “ he patted the boy on the ass. “Why don’t you go to the bathroom, see if we have any lotion in there, hmm?”

The teen tried to stand, legs shaking underneath him. He walked the short distance to the door and pulled it open, glancing back at Rivaille. “I’ll be right back,” he mumbled, stumbling out of the room and into the bathroom. Quickly, he rummaged in the drawers, looking for something they could use. Judging by the increasing tightness in his stomach, he doubted they had too much longer to go. He opened the cabinet door and found a bottle of lotion with the word ‘unscented’ printed on the label.

He stood up, grinning down at the bottle. As he turned to exit the bathroom, he caught sight of himself in the mirror. His skin was flushed and sweat clung to the hair lying on his forehead. Eren paused, staring at his reflection. This is what Rivaille had fallen in love with? This is what got the man panting and ready for anything? The teen reached up to his cheek and pulled down on his skin, watching it pull away from his eyeball. He blinked and released his cheek with an exhale.  
How had he managed to make the best captain and soldier in the Survey Corps fall for him? How had he convinced the man to stay with him?

“You find anything, yet?” Rivaille called from the bedroom. The teen’s heart sped up as he turned away from the mirror, pushing his insecurities away.

“Yeah,” he called back, staring down at the bottle as he stepped back into the bedroom. “It says unscented and something about moisturizing but I think it’ll still...work…” Eren paused, breathless at the sight in front of him. Rivaille was standing in front of the bed in just his boxers, a few candles lit on the floor and rose petals spread across the bed.

The captain gave the soldier a smile. “You’ve been going on today about wanting to take this slow and getting back to romance and everything so… I was saving this for our anniversary next week but I’ve got other plans for that as well,” he gave a smirk that slowly lost it’s confidence. “Do you like it?”  
Eren nodded, too afraid to speak, worried he would shatter this moment. It was perfect. Beautiful and romantic.. exactly like he always imagined their perfect night together would be.

“Oh, Rivaille,” he choked out in a whisper, tears blurring his vision. He heard Rivaille walk toward him. His hands were on Eren’s waist, pulling him closer, into a hug.

“You seem adamant that you’re not telling me what’s bothering you so this is the only thing I can do,” Rivaille responded, running one of his hands through the boy’s hair. “I love you so much, Eren.”

The teen clung to his lover for a moment longer before pulling away to kiss his lips, carefully hiding his tears. “I love you too,” he whispered when they broke apart for air. He moved his hands down to his lover’s waist, tugging at the waistband of Rivaille’s boxers. “Come on… make love to me, Rivaille,” he whispered, turning them around and walking backwards toward the bed.

“Watch out for the candles,” Rivaille muttered against his lips. He picked Eren up by his hips and licked his neck. The teen moaned, wrapping his legs around the man’s midsection.

Rivaille guided them back to the bed, gently laying down on top of the teenager. His fingers tangled with Eren’s as he took the bottle of lotion from him. “It’s probably going to be a little cold,” he warned, squeezing the liquid onto his fingers. Eren closed his eyes, feeling his captain’s finger gently press into him. He twisted his head to the side, panting as Rivaille moved his finger faster and faster for a moment before adding a second one. Eren gasped, curling his hands around the sheet. Oh fuck this felt good.

“Ahh! I-I ahh, I want you!” he cried out, moving his hands to Rivaille’s back. His fingernails scraped down the captain’s back, leaving what he was sure were long pink scratches on his pale skin.

“Brat, you really want your Heichou, huh?” the man questioned, rumbling out a low laugh as he added a third digit, making the boy squirm and pant even more.

“R-Rivaille!” he screamed out, clawing at his lover’s back again. Rivaille’s quiet laughter entered his ears and he opened his eyes, staring up at his captain. A small noise left him as the man leaned closer to kiss him.

“You are so adorable you shithead,” Rivaille murmured, sliding his finger out of the boy. “You ready for me?” he questioned.

Eren nodded, gasping as he felt his lover slide into him. “Ahh!” he moaned, curling his hands around the sheets.

Rivaille’s hand quickly found his and he gently curled his fingers around Eren’s. “I love you,” his voice was so soft when he said it. Lips were gentle when he kissed it. Heart beat so fast as they made it. Everything fell into place and it was perfect. Eren’s eyes welled with tears and he closed them, turning his hand over so he could hold Rivaille’s. He wanted to say something back, tell the captain that he loved him, but the words were stuck in his throat. Hot tears spilled from his eyes and ran down the sides of his face, running into his hair.

“Eren, what is it?” his lover whispered, voice like silk as he moved inside him.

“Aghh!” he cried out, squeezing Rivaille’s hand in response. A moment later, the words spilled from him, laced with a sniffle. “I-I’m scared,” his own heart pounded in his ears, knowing this was their last time together. “Rivaille, I don’t want to be away from you, ever.” Oh how easily his insecurities slipped from his mouth when Rivaille touched him. He whimpered as he helplessly clung to the captain still slowly moving inside him.

“You’re not going to be away from me anymore.. the war’s over, Eren. You’re mine forever now,” Rivaille’s voice was soft when he spoke. He gently wiped away the tears on his face. “Eren it’s okay. I know you were scared during the war but we both made it. We’re together now forever, okay?”

The teen nodded as more tears cascaded down his face, despite his lover attempting to wipe them all away. Eren gasped as Rivaille moved faster inside him, lifting his legs higher. The teen curled his other hand around Rivaille’s hair as gasps and moans sputtered from the both of them. “Ahh! R-Rivaille!” he cried out, feeling the tightness building in his gut. His heart beat faster as he neared release.

“I love you,” the teen’s voice shook when he spoke his affection and he squeezed his eyes closed against more tears. “Nnngh, Rivaille, I-I-aha!” he twisted his neck to the side, groaning as his lover moved hips faster. Rivaille lips were on his neck in an instant, licking and kissing his skin as he moved. Eren heard him say those three words once more before he came, tears streaming down his face as he cried out.

Seconds later, his lover came too, leaning down to kiss him as he moved inside him a moment longer.

They lie in each other’s arms until the sun disappeared beneath the clouds and their room was bathed in darkness.  
Eren lie on one side, his back to the captain who was still kissing his shoulders and upper back occasionally. The teen squeezed his eyes closed every time Rivaille kissed him, feeling the tears behind his lids.

“I love you,” the man finally spoke, breaking Eren out of his trance. “I mean it. I love you so much. I never thought we would get moments like this. Where we could relax entirely - never worry about a Titan breaching the walls as we lie in each other’s arms,” his fingers walked up Eren’s spine. The teen sniffled in response, not sure how to articulate what he knew it was time to say. How to tell your love that they’d just given you your last time?

Rivaille kissed his shoulder again. “I don’t know why you’re so sad, but I promise you that I mean every word I’m saying. I’m gonna find that place with you, we’re gonna settle down and then I will spoil you every day with sex like this.”

Eren ground his teeth together, squeezing his eyes closed as he tried to curl in on himself. The pain in his chest was like nothing he’d ever felt before. He’d rather be eaten alive by a Titan than ever feel this way. “Eren,” Rivaille gently rolled him over, crushing him against his chest. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“I’m scared,” he repeated, voice cracking as he spoke. He was more than scared. Terrified was a better word. In a few short hours, the Military Police officers would be back and ready to end him. All because he was a Titan shifter. Because he could do what no one else could. How would Rivaille go on? ….would he want to go on? Eren shook his head at that thought. Of course Rivaille would go on without him. He was a captain, a strong man. He wouldn’t give up after one death. But… it would make a difference if it was Eren...right? The boy that he claimed to have fallen in love with.. if he died…

“Eren,” the captain’s voice was firmer this time when he spoke. “I said this earlier but you seemed to have ignored it. The war is over now and I swore to you even before it ended that I would keep you safe. You’re here now and you’re safe forever.”

The teen pressed his tear stained face to his lover’s chest, whimpering as he clung to him. Rivaille continued on, rubbing his hands on his back as he spoke. “Nothing is going to happen to you now.” Silence settled over them for a while until Eren shifted in his arms, snuggling closer to him. Despite the sadness, a smile tugged at his mouth as he replayed the memories they’d shared together over the months they’d known each other.

“Oi, what are you grinning about?” Rivaille questioned, snaking his fingers under Eren’s chin and turning his face upward. “Something on your mind?”

The teen smiled and leaned up to kiss him. “Just thinking about how we met,” he said when he pulled away. “Makes me laugh everytime.”

Rivaille grimaced. “The first thing I did was kick you in the face. How’s that funny, brat?”

Eren laughed again, shaking his head. “Just is. Neither of us had any idea at that moment that we would end up where we are now.”

“What? Tangled legs and pounding hearts as I ram you?” the captain smirked as the teen blushed.

“Oh shove it,” he mumbled, leaning up to kiss him again. “You’re the one who keeps going on and on about that house we’re gonna find.”

“The house with the garden, brat, get it right,” he smirked against the boy’s lips. Rivaille ran a thumb across the boy’s cheek, smiling as he stared at him. “One last thing Jaeger. Before we settle down, before we find that place with a garden… will you marry me? I don’t have a ring or anything but I’ll get you one,” he smiled, continuing on. “I don’t care if I marry you in Sina or in the ruins of Maria… wherever you want, I’ll marry you. What do you say? You want to be my brat forever?”

Eren’s heart stopped in his chest and his eyes welled with tears again. He couldn’t. They could never marry each other. The tears spilled from his eyes, tumbling their way down his cheeks. A garbled sob choked it’s way out of his throat. “I-I can’t…” he trailed off, shoving his fists against his eyes. Oh this hurt. The war was over, they were finally safe and now… this. If only Eren wasn’t a Titan shifter. If only there was some way out of this.

“Whoa, hey, what’s wrong? What do you mean you can’t?” Rivaille’s tone was gentle and his hands on Eren’s back were even more so.

The teen curled inward on himself, wondering if this is what it felt like when your heart was breaking.

“Eren what is it?” his fingers were gentle against the boy’s skin, carefully pressing him closer.

Eren squeezed his eyes closed tighter. This hurt. “R-Rivaille,” he stammered out, heart constricting with every syllable. “I-I love you,” he whispered, feeling his lover crush him against his chest. Tears spilled from his eyes as he curled his body around the captain.

“Eren, what’s wrong?” Rivaille rocked him back and forth. “Tell me how I can help you, please.”

Words weren’t enough to describe the pain in his chest. Eren cried out, clinging helplessly to his lover. The words ached to get out. He wanted Rivaille to know exactly why he couldn’t marry him.

“Eren, tell me, please,” Rivaille sounded desperate when he spoke, gently rocking him. “Please, let me help.”

The teen forced himself to sputter out the words eating him alive. “I-I can’t.. I can’t m-marry you,” he pressed his face against Rivaille’s chest. “The K-king… he ordered… death of all Titan shifters..”

Rivaille had stilled completely. Arms no longer rocking him, hands no longer pressing him closer. Complete absolute stillness.

Eren sniffled, trying to piece himself back together. His lover continued to remain rigid against him and eventually the teen couldn’t take it anymore, pulling away from him to complete the awkwardness that had settled between them. Mere moments ago, they had been touching and kissing like always. The teen used the flats of his palms to wipe away his tears. The easy part of this was over. He’d told the captain exactly what was going on. He’d told him that he wouldn’t be here tomorrow. That tonight had been their last time together. He’d told them how their love was to come to a halt. How they’d loved fiercely like a fire but they’d just been introduced to rain.

“Fuck the king,” Rivaille spat suddenly, drawing Eren from his thoughts. He moved a hand to the boy’s waist, fingers soft against his skin. “I’m not going to let them come in here and take you away from me. No way. Do you really think I’d stand by and watch this happen? Why didn’t you just tell the king to shove it? Tell him that he’d have to go against humanity's strongest to get to you. I’d go through hell and back to keep you safe, brat. Why didn’t you tell me about this as soon as you found out?”

Eren blinked from the rapid fire questions. As he was trying to sort out which one to answer first, his mind registered a stinging sensation on his hip and he glanced down. The gentle hand on his waist had quickly become anything but. His lover’s fingernails dug into his skin and his fingers were curled so tightly around his skin that Eren winced, placing his hand over top Rivaille’s. “Y-you’re hurting me,” he whispered.

His lover withdrew his hand immediately, apologies tumbling from his lips as he gently stroked his skin, trying to chase away the stinging.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” he responded, exhaling against the touches. A kiss was exchanged before Eren spoke again. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you… I just didn’t want to ruin today.”

Rivaille exhaled and shook his head. “You should have told me. We could have been miles away by now,” he untangled his legs from Eren’s and propped himself up on one elbow. “We might be able to find a horse in the Military Police’s stables… but we’ll have to be quick if we want to be out of here by the morning.”

Eren frowned as his lover was already heading for the end of the bed. “Hey, wait,” the teen grabbed onto his arm and sat up with him, putting a hand to the side of his face. “What are you talking about? Rivaille.. we can’t run from this.”

“Like hell we can’t. I’m not going to let them kill you, no. I refuse. I can’t watch them take away my last reason to live. I won’t-”

“And I can’t spend my last days running,” Eren interrupted quietly. “Rivaille I’m not going to run from this. I can’t, it’s pointless.”

“It’s not pointless!” Rivaille countered. “It’s your life, brat. I’m not letting you throw it away because you think your time has come or whatever shit you’ve got going on in your head.”

The teen exhaled. “You can’t stop them. And even if you try, I’ll take myself out anyway,” he said, taking Rivaille’s hand.

The captain narrowed his eyes. “You would do that to me? You’d end your life and leave me in a fucking wreck afterwards?”

“I was actually hoping.. you would do it,” he said, dropping his voice to a whisper as the last few words tumbled from his mouth. “From the moment we met.. you said you would take me out when and if it was necessary…”

“Yeah, IF you fucking brat!” Rivaille tore his hand away from the boy. “You’re not serious right now.”

Eren turned away from him, slid off the bed and walked the short distance to put his boxers and jeans back on before speaking again. “Listen, I’m not kidding. I don’t want to go by the Military Police officer’s hands. I’d rather you take me out or I take myself out,” tears sprang to his eyes and he whirled around, pacing back to the bed and sinking down onto his knees. He took the captain’s face in his hands and kissed his lips, letting himself relax for a minute before ending the moment by pulling away. He leaned his forehead against Rivaille’s, breath caught in his throat. “Please… I- I can’t… you promised you would do it…”

“Stop it,” the captain murmured. “The war is over. You’re not a threat anymore. I can’t just take you out. Eren, I-”

“Don’t say you can’t,” Eren whispered, pressing his forehead closer to his lover’s. “You promised me you could. You swore it. When the time comes, you swore you would.”

“It was different back then!” Rivaille argued, tangling his fingers in the boy’s hair. “You can’t ask me to do this. You have no idea how cruel that is.”

“I don’t… I don’t want to do it myself...I don’t want to be alone,” he whispered, kissing his lover’s nose and releasing a whimper. “Please, Rivaille.. you promised.”

“I can’t you shitty brat,” the captain snapped, gritting his teeth and pulling the kid down into a kiss. “You’re my reason for living.. I can’t just…” Rivaille muttered against his lips.

Eren pulled away with a sniffle, tears descending down his cheeks. “You’re right.. it’s not fair,” he crawled across the floor and pulled his shirt on over his head. “It’s not your responsibility anymore..” he drew in a breath and stood, back still to his captain. “I meant what I said earlier. I don’t want to die at the MP’s hands. I’ll take myself out,” he said, turning on his heel to head for the door. He pulled open the door and stepped out into the hallway.

“Eren, wait!” Rivaille exclaimed from behind him, sounding like he was staggering across the floor to get to him. “Just hang on a minute!”

Eren took another few steps forward, hovering at the top of the stairs. He waited to see if Rivaille was following him or if the captain was merely hoping the boy would wait. When he didn’t hear movement behind him, he sighed and started down the stairs.

“Brat, I said wait!” his lover’s voice sounded panicked as his footsteps pounded behind him. “You can’t do this!”

Eren stopped a few paces from the last stair and turned around, looking up at Rivaille mid-staircase. “Why not? If I don’t, the Military Police Officers will tomorrow. I told you I don’t want to go out by their hands. I’d rather do it myself.. that way I have control.”

Rivaille descended the last few stairs and walked to him. “No. It’s not fair to you. I’ll kill whoever comes to get you - it’s not like I haven’t killed humans before.”

“No,” the boy responded, voice softening after a moment. “You’ve given me the greatest last day I could have asked for…”

“No, stop that,” Rivaille growled, taking a hold of the teen’s hands. “You’re not going to give me some shitty speech about how you loved me and how you wish this would have ended differently or some shit. No. I’m not gonna hear that.”

Eren took a breath and glanced down at their intertwined fingers. “I love you so much, Rivaille,” he whispered, looking up to him. “You’re the best thing I’ve ever had the opportunity to love,” he blinked against the tears. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity.”

“Stop it!” the captain drew him into an embrace, squeezing him tightly. “Stop it, just stop it,” his hands were soft as he caressed the boy’s back.

Eren sniffled, grabbing fistfulls of his shirt. “I-I can’t… I have to do this, Rivaille,” he whimpered. “It’s… I don’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice, brat. Mine is to not let you die,” the man responded, holding onto him tighter. “I can’t let you do this to yourself.”  
Eren squirmed against him and finally pulled away. He sniffled. “You can’t stop this. It’s either me or them… please honor my last wishes and understand that I need to do it so they won’t.”

“Eren…” Rivaille looked at him like he was tearing his heart out. “You want me to sit back and watch you die? I can’t do that, I won’t.”

“You just have to,” Eren turned and walked the remaining few paces to the door. He pulled it open and heard Rivaille’s steps behind him. “It has to be done, Rivaille. Please don’t try and stop me,” he called over his shoulder. He stepped out into the night, feeling the cool breeze blow through his hair as he turned the front window and put his foot on the edge of the window. It would have been easier with his 3D maneuver gear but he wasn’t entirely sure where it was. Only slipping once or twice, he managed to scale the building and hoist himself up onto the roof. When he turned, he realized Rivaille had followed him.

“Hey,” Eren said gently. “I told you that you can’t stop me,” he took a breath and stood, watching the man swing himself up onto the roof.

Rivaille stood and crossed his arms. “You’re just going to jump? What if you don’t die?”

“Anything’s worth a shot,” Eren responded, closing his eyes in an attempt to still his racing heart. “You should go back inside… you don’t want to see this.”

“What makes you think I’m letting you do this alone?” Rivaille questioned. Eren’s eyes snapped open as he whirled around to face him.

“What are you talking about?” the teenager demanded, eyebrows drawing downward. “You’re not doing this too. You’re living,” he responded.

“And tell me exactly what I have left to live for?” the man countered, crossing his arms. “The war’s over, you’ll be gone. What’s my purpose after that?”

Eren stuttered and stammered as he tried to come up with something to force his lover to back down from the roof and get back inside, far away from the suicide about to take place. “Y-You’re… you can’t! You have Hanji and Erwin-”

“And neither one of them are you, brat,” Rivalle countered. “You’re far more important than any stupid comrade I had in the corps. If you’re gone, my reason for living ceases to exist.”

Eren’s heart crawled into his throat at those words and tears pricked the corners of his eyes. “No! You can’t! You don’t… I have to do this, Rivaille. You don’t, you can live on. Please… live on for me.”

“You can’t off yourself then ask me to live on for you. That’s not fair,” Rivaille responded and uncrossed his arms, reaching out to touch the boy’s face. “Since you’re insistent that you won’t run, and I can’t force you to, we’ll jump together.”

“No! You can’t!” Eren snapped, pushing his hand off his cheek. “I-I won’t let you.”

Rivaille’s smile was soft. “How are you going to stop me? You’re planning on doing it regardless of what I say or do. So.. after the fact, I’ll be able to take myself out as well. Even if I climb down from here and let you jump, you’d never know if I was truly going to stay alive after you jump.”

The tears in Eren’s eyes finally spilled over and words tumbled from his quivering lips. “N-No! P-Please, Rivaille, you have to… have to live,” he hiccuped as a sob broke through and he covered his eyes with the palms of his hands, desperately trying to stop crying. He had to do this. He’d known since he’d woken up this morning that this was how he was supposed to go. He just… he never dreamed Rivaille would want to go with him. Another quiet sob broke from him and the captain took the boy into his arms. A few quiet moments passed between them as Rivaille rubbed his back. Eren tried to focus on mustering up the strength to jump but it was hard when all he wanted was to blubber into his captain’s chest, clinging to him like he was a child once more.

“Hey, brat… aren’t you the one who was always talking to me about reincarnation?” Rivaille asked and the boy pulled away with a hiccup, using a hand to wipe at one half of his face. He nodded and the man continued on. “Then if you believe, we’ll see each other again.”

Eren sniffled. “How will we know if we’ve found each other? We can’t be positive we’ll remember the events in our previous lives... what if we look different?”

“Tch. You think you have to look like this for me to know it’s you?” Rivaille murmured, leaning closer to kiss him once. “I know your heart and soul, brat. I could find you anywhere.”

Eren closed his eyes as more tears cascaded down his cheeks. He peeked one eye open and looked at the ground. It seemed so far up from him. Rivaille was wrong. A fall like that would definitely kill him. Them.

He exhaled shakily and took his lover’s hand with a nod. “We’ll find each other in our next life…. promise?”

The man nodded. “With all my heart, Jaeger,” he squeezed the boy’s hand back and turned to face the edge of the roof when he did.

“Ready?” the teen whispered, heart pounding wildly. This was it. It was happening. One jump and it would be over. No more Rivaille until they found each other again. Tears stung his eyes.

“Ready.”

Rivaille sounded so calm. Like he’d been anticipating this since he’d met Eren. Like he knew how they would go out. Did he really imagine they would die holding hands and jumping to their deaths?

Eren closed his eyes and squeezed his lover’s hand as he took one step… then another.. and suddenly he was falling. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know that Rivaille was beside him. The teen felt his cold hand tighten in his own warm one. Seconds felt like hours as he fell through the air, replaying his life in front of him before the fall stopped.

He hit the ground, feeling the gravel scrape across his face and hands. His head pounded against the pavement and black spots crowded the edges of his vision. He felt something warm and sticky pour from the back of his head, running down the side of his neck and onto his back. He heard Rivaille groan beside him and he blinked, looking around for him.

Eren squeezed his hand as he heard the man exhale. His own breath left his lungs and the blackness overtook him, leaving him wondering which of them passed first… and how they would find each other in their next life.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think of this in the comments section. It would make me really happy. :)


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